Frustration and sadness.

October 30, 2009 at 3:59 pm (Other) (, , )

What just happened has left me sad and frustrated, like so long ago when my parents got divorced. But, for a while I’ve been a little frustrated. I’m having some difficulties with school and even more difficulties with fixing it. Of all the frustrations in my life, this one takes first place.

I’d usually try to lighten bad news up with good news around it, but I couldn’t think of a way to make this lighter if I wanted to.

I haven’t seen my father since September. Last time I was scheduled to go to his house, he was sick and didn’t want to make me sick. I was alright with that, after all, I need to stay healthy for school. This weekend I was supposed to go to his house, but the reason I can’t go isn’t a small thing like being sick, and it’s not an excuse in my eyes.

My father has been trying to get plates for his car, but finally just told the dealership to pick it up.

On top of that, my dad is now without a job, having been laid off last week.

I could try and defend him with a rather weak argument, saying “at least there was more of a warning this time.” But I won’t, because in simple words, “This just plain sucks.” Andย I wish he had told me sooner that he’d been laid off, I wish he’d told me sooner that he didn’t have a car to pick me up on our weekend.

So, I guess I am staying with my mom for Halloween.

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3 Comments

  1. michellegamboa said,

    Hey there,

    I’m sorry life is sucking for you right now. There are a whole slew of cliche’s I could say that are designed to “help”, but really don’t and having been through some really rough times myself, I can simply say that you’re not alone. I know we haven’t met and I don’t know your dad and I’m not even going to try to defend him or tell you that you should’t feel the way you do, because you should feel that way. However, I would like to offer a possible perspective…

    In many people’s eyes, losing a job/giving up possessions/etc. = failure. And if you are one of those people, when these things happen to you, it’s difficult to admit or to share…especially with those you love. I don’t know if this is what your dad is going through, but it’s a thought.

    I hope you have a good weekend despite starting it on such a bad note.

    M-

  2. Mona Nomura said,

    Hi Tyler, you don’t know me but I am a huge fan of your mom. She talks about you (proudly) all of the time, so I came across your Twitter and this blog post.

    I just wanted you to know, that you are definitely not alone.

    I, too, grew up with parents that divorced. My mom left the home and my brother and I were stuck with our dad. My dad was a compulsive gambler who lost his job but he never told my brother and I. He actually lied to us by saying he was starting his own business and long story short, a bunch of bad situations ensued. My mom was too busy trying to live her life, so my brother and I were left to tend to ourselves.

    That said, I am not even going to try and relate my experiences and thoughts to yours, since we all have our own pains. But whatever you are going through, do not blame yourself and never ever be angry at yourself for whatever you are feeling. It’s normal. Just like how your mom and dad are human, you are too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sorry to hear about your sucky weekend but I hope you make the best of it. Take care and keep writing! You have a great writing style – so clear and concise. ๐Ÿ™‚

    m.

    • hawkrider1 said,

      Thank you for the concern. And my weekend ended up not being too bad, as I got to go to a friend’s house for Halloween.

      I’m not angry with myself and I’m not blaming myself. I know my dad is an adult and can take care of himself, I just worry about him sometimes, looking at some of the choices he’s made.

      I’m also glad you like my writing style, It’s been evolving for a while. But I just have to say, spell-check has saved me many a times.

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